My Desire

On my way back to campus yesterday afternoon, the song "This is My Desire" by Hillsong came on the radio. I began to think about all that has been going on in my life, especially this semester. With graduation only a couple of months away, the idea of what I will do when I graduate has been heavily on my mind. Do I go to seminary or grad school and continue my education? Do I go overseas and work in missions? Do I work locally in a church? Do I go through a well-known missions's organization or a smaller organization? What do I do? I know one of my biggest weaknesses is allowing others to influence me in such a way that I do what they want me to do (or what they think I should be doing). Why do I allow people to have this control over me? I don't know. What I do know is what I desire. I desire to be in the will of the Father. I desire, as the song says, to "live for him alone". I hope that as time goes on I will truly learn this is all that matters. Paul gets to this in many of his books over and over. I hope that I one day I will be able to grasp all that it means for Christ to be my life. I pray that one day my desire to "live for him alone" will be fulfilled.

Living or Just Alive?

These past few months have been challenging, yet satisfying. I have been reminded through all of this that we choose the life we live. While, yes, I have many things in my past I regret, I have been reminded that I don't have time to think about these things. A good friend of mine reminded me that no matter what I have done or will do, God loves me no less. I have no problem grasping my mind around this. It's my heart that I have the problem with. Yet, slowly God is showing me how this is so true. I have chosen to no longer dwell in the past, but look to what lies ahead. I am choosing to live. I am not saying that I will not mess up, because we all know that is not the case. I am saying that I am choosing to live, not just be alive and try to make it through the day. This to me is not living. Living is learning to trust God in all things. Living IS God. I choose to live.